Patience. God imprinted this on my heart as we started the journey of finding a new home and selling our condo. His Holy Spirit encouraged me to study the fruits of the spirit, starting with patience. Today something halted the possibility of moving as soon as we anticipated. Patience. My God has been preparing my heart, and given me peace that passes all understanding. For me patience starts with trusting my creator. 
I don't know where to start, and honestly I am a little afraid to start, afraid I've been suppressing something that will come out in writing. Here goes- we were supposed to close on our condo Friday. We knew last week that wasn't going to happen. We have had nothing but hiccups with the lender our buyer is using and our condo association. I say hiccups, but a lot have been road blocks. At one point the lady who works at the condo association gently hinted, that I should just call instead of coming to their office to make things happen. Everyone has been nice, but nothing has gotten done. I called every one I know to try and make it work. Today we FINALLY heard what we would have heard weeks ago if our buyers loan officer hadn't been fired. Our condo association is not approved for the type of program our buyer was trying to go through. There is some small possibility that our buyer can go through another program or lender, but our agent tried to convince their agent to switch about two weeks ago and no dice. So who knows, our agent is awesome and was saying she's willing to offer some part of her commission to make this deal close. We could do rent to own, we could do a lot of things….We just cancelled the inspection on our new home for the third time. After all who wants to pay $500 on an inspection and not be able to buy the house. Without selling our condo, we can't buy this other home. Gentleman Romero keeps saying regardless we have a place to live, and thats something to be thankful for, and thats true. 
In any case, its hard, hard to decide to let go. To let go of this idea of us in this home we were going to live in forever. Where D was gonna grow up and play in the tree house, and I was going to have family dinners on the patio with twinkly lights hanging from the pergola, all Parenthood style.
 To be honest I haven't let go yet, i was just thinking today of how I never wanted to move again after all this was over. How all I wanted to do was move in and die there, partially because I never want to pack my whole home again and partially because well, I love it. 
This from a girl who all she ever wanted to was move,from some one with perpetual wanderlust. Some one who has hauled all her stuff in a buick back and forth across town once a week about a 1000 times, in a kia half way across the country multiple times. Some one who "backpacked" Europe well just because I was 18 and could. I've packed so often in the past, but this was different. 
Tonight I am thankful for my family, for a reason to want to live somewhere forever and die there. For a place to live, and for learning that waiting on God it doesn't have to be scary. It doesn't have to be hard, it just takes patience and A LOT of trust.  
Trust I didn't have when I was being crazy,stressing out, calling everyone I knew to make this happen, telling my realtor not to worry me. She said, " don't worry, just pray." And I didn't pray nearly enough. That is NOT why I think this is happening, its just, I could always pray more, ya know? 
Trust I have now, that I don't know what will happen. Trust I have now, that most of our furniture was moved to my sister in laws, (two hours before we got the call)  now that we have no dressers or dining room table in our condo, now that my son's room is TOTALLY empty. But some of all those patience scriptures and God writing on my heart sunk in some time, PATIENCE. Pray for patience for me and my family. 
Thank you
Lady Romero 

COPYCAT NUTELLA, less than one minute to make

First off let me just say I NEEDED some nutella the other night, and I didn't have any. Which honestly turned out to be a great thing because I just whipped up some of my own, using JUST 3 ingredients I already had handy in the pantry/fridge. Best part, (well debatable) is that I was able to make an amount for only 3 servings, so no binge eating nutella straight from the jar. Am I the last one to discover I can make this at home? Yes, no? For all you hazelnut addicts out there, sorry, the main ingredient in this recipe is almond butter. All you almond butter junkies are now officially running to your fridge/pantry to get started on this almost healthy, protein packed indulgence. Neither me or my husband are huge peanut butter fan, so when I read that almond butter is healthier than peanut butter (think kale vs spinach) I jumped right onto the almond butter train. Almond butter can be expensive, but luckily they carry this two ingredient brand at Costco, so I scooped it right up. Now I join the ranks of almond butter addicts every where.

Let me go ahead and apologize for my shoddy photography skills, everyone once in a while on here you will probably run across an awesome photo. It will be of my son, or perhaps my husband, it will be because a) the subject is well loved by the photographer b) because the subject is too darn cute/handsome to mess up no matter my skill level.
In any case hopefully my content keeps you coming back for more.
Ingredient list.

Ok, so this is one of those to your taste type things. 

I start with a big dollop almond butter, the more "home made nutella" you want, the more almond butter you will want to start with as your base. Then shake in some cocoa powder, again the more chocolate flavor you want the more cocoa powder needed. Then add in some honey (local preferable but any will do, maple syrup acceptable substitute) the sweeter you want your spread, the more honey add, should you. Sorry just got done with my weeky jedi training session. Anyway….local honey is the best because it helps with seasonal allergies, tastes even sweeter now, doesn't it? I picked mine up for a great price at Nutrition Stop.

Now all you do is stir, (taste and adjust to your liking)  

Slather generously on hot toast, and YUMMO!

I told you less than one minute:) 

NUTELLA, from scratch...

Donuts, why life is good, and house pictures, you know an eclectic post

Sometimes we need to hunker down and remember
Why life is good.
I am not going to tell you I have a rough life, I don't. We deal with ups and downs just like any other family.
Things that could be avoided, like me running around like a crazy woman before our home inspection the other day. Things that I couldn't have avoided if I tried, like our neighbor drinking too much while wielding his semi-automatic weapon, forcing the cops to call us to relocate to our basement at 1 am the night before our inspection. (all involved are safe and that is also why life is good) Things Im not sure which category they fall into, like the sticker shock of month to month renting as we prepare to move.
In any case I'll reflect a little on why God is good, why life is good.

My brother just came to visit this weekend, it doesn't happen often, and I was thankful it did happen. Being a 25 year old bachelor, in the past his interactions with my son had been limited. Because well D's interactions before relied solely on the adult in the scenario. Now that he's a toddling bundle of fun, he pulled my brother into his web, with his charm, giggles and firm grasp of what he wants. Like pushing a book in his uncles hand, because why else? He wants to be read to. I loved seeing how much they loved each other, because the affection was definitely mutual and….. heart warming to say the least.

I was also thinking today how I needed to document this adorable thing my son does. He just takes his little hand, and puts it in front of my mouth so I kiss it. He often does this a few times in a row. Now while it could be him asserting that he can get "Momma" to do what he wants. I like to think its just a reminder of affection between us, that started after a fall or scrape kissed a boo-boo on a hand.

I think about a husband that works hard, who gets up early with "the baby" (he is still my baby,alright?) on his days off to let me sleep in late.


I think about how scary it can be to not know about tomorrow, because we move in less than 16 days and don't know where we are going to live. But then I remember who holds my tomorrow.

^^^^^ This sentence about how we don't know where we will live has changed! WOOHOO!
We have an accepted verbal contract on a home in the 63303.
 I am ecstatic about the yard, pergola,tree house, raise gardening bed, and a structure that is going to be turned into a chicken coop ASAP. They are not re-negotiating our closing date, so we should close the 3rd.
We have some dear friends who while taking his 30 yr ministry sabbatical will be out of town have graciously offered their home. We were hesitant to accept unless we had somewhere to go, but now we do! THANK GOD! So we will have not have to rent month to month  (and pay the outrageous prices) LIFE IS GOOD!

There are of course caveats, like our buyer having quite a few lists of things she wants done to our condo now. And they have a kick out rider on our contract. But I am resting and trusting in the one who holds our tomorrow. Too much has fallen into place for me to not trust, my God has proven to faithful.

So life is also good because of clearance clothes that make my son look like a non hairy footed hobbit, Where my Tolkien, LOTR, and yes Peter Jackson fans at?

Have you notice I like to dress my kid up for no darn good reason? Today it was because I wanted to celebrate  NATIONAL DONUT DAY! (who needs a reason to eat a donut right?)

As I told my friends only in 'MURICA!
We started out with 19, ( I got a dozen and a half plus a free one)  and don't worry we shared with my girlfriend, her MIL, and 3 of her kids.And I also plan on getting rid of these by dropping them off elsewhere :)While they aren't listed on my out and around town list. I have two favorite donut places, one right up the road, Mario's.
They also have great hummus, gyros, and coffee. Fresh baked every day, I love me some of their maple long johns and chocolate iced crullers.

 Second is the nationally acclaimed Strange Donuts in Maplewood.While not quite as famed as Voodoo Donuts in Portland, Im sure Strange dones are better.

O, you wanted to see pictures of the house?
cue maniacal, leave the picture of the house to the end of the post laugh
(I hate when bloggers do that with a recipe and you have to scroll for like eight years to find how many cups of flour)
anyway the house...

                           

O right, you wanted to see the yard I was going on about….

  Do you see in the above photo to the right there, my coop structure?

I didn't make any of this from scratch, but I am so thankful for it.

Lady Romero

Sensory Play Day:Mini blog

Today we made Moon Dough…. per a Pinterest recipe. It was Pinteresting…. Can I just tell you how long I have been wanting to you use that word? A LONG time.
Also I have no idea what moon dough is, their marketing people are either slacking or I'm not up on the times….
I have no longer have the excuse of just becoming a mom, as I'm an almost 17 month vet. (if you don't count the pregnancy as mom time) Ha ha me a veteran mom. But isn't that the way it is, once you are a mom, you can't imagine a time when you weren't? It is such a huge part of who you are, but I digress.

MOON DOUGH , at first I was skeptical. Only 2 ingredients….
I just bought the cheapest shaving cream I could find at ole Tarjae.

I started making it, and originally I felt like it was just going to be shaving cream, but as I mixed in more cornstarch,  (very well and quite a lot of it ) the texture changed. It was definitely something that was malleable with texture and form, not just squishy foam.

Just trying decide if he's interested here.

Definitely a cheeser for the camera though. Also do you see that button up? clearly Im an amateur…

Don't think that theres no cover on that highchair because the project was planned either. It was just being washed. Happy coincidences right?

After lots of smashing fun, and a hastily added bib…. my little munchkin was done having messy hands.

Any way I have had an activity planned every day this week, my insomnia was being ambitious earlier in the week and planned them all. Don't get me wrong I did miss yesterday.But as another happy coincidence he played with play doh at church last night, which was the scheduled activity we missed yesterday! Wait, what? you scheduled play-doh. Ummm yes, but I promise we build blocks and go to the park and have lots of unscheduled fun!

In any case, today was a mini blog of Moon Dough from scratch:)

The roller coaster of giving it over

One year for Christmas, I asked Daddy Romero ( Alex) for an apron. He got me an apron, because he is kind, loving and desires to make me happy. This apron wasn't what I hoped for though, and it showed on my face. It wasn't a style or print that I was hoping for. There was nothing wrong with the apron, it was in fact, exactly what I asked for, but my heart sunk when I saw it. This is like when we ask God for something, receive it and then are still unsatisfied.

For those of you that don't know we have been on this crazy roller coaster of, if, and when, yes we will, no we won't move to NC, for Alex's job.
Well we won't. We sold our condo, but we have yet to a new place to live. Yet we close in like 21 days, o the packing I still need to do….

In any case I've been " giving" it to God, and then taking it back. I've been praying with my husband, and then frantically checking real estate sites like its my job. Praying things like " remind us God the importance of a home is the work you do there, the ones we share it with." Walking away from those prayers making goggly eyes at a home square footage or perfect kitchen we don't need.

(slight exaggeration of homes I'm goggly eying)

God has been bathing me in lessons on patience, on how he provides. The sermon this week at church was on 40 years in the dessert for the Israelites and manna raining from heaven. (We have been in Exodus for months, and as I struggle with this, we study that passage- it was like, WAKE UP, IM TALKING TO YOU!) God is constantly and continually baseball batting me in the head with how faithful he is.
Yet I am still anxious, frustrated with not finding a home and riding a roller coaster piloted by doubt one minute and faith the next.

You see I loved a house, Alex also liked it, but it was out of our price range. So we made an offer hoping they would come down to where we wanted to be. No dice. We walked away from negotiations, but I was still frantically checking the listing. I've prayed many a prayer that went something like, "God if that isn't our house, let it sell, take the temptation away."
Then today, I saw the words "Active Contigent" listed above it, and again my heart sunk. It was what I asked for, just like that apron. Still my heart did not sing. How selfish and sinful am I, always expecting to get what I want and not wanting it when I get it.

God took away my temptation. He is faithful. What I was putting my faith in, was that all the other prayers I've prayed ," God allow us to be able to buy this home if it's ours, " "God bring us to the right home at the right time," would eventually lead to that home. I had faith that the price on that home would fall, that it would be ours, and that God would answer my prayers in a way that most befitted my ideas of how he would answer them.

The only other way I can say that I have been faithful is by trying to fix myself, sometimes with scripture and prayer. (often not) Did you catch that its me trying to fix myself, because I think I can. Then when I can't, I wallow in my emotions of doubt, fear, and faithlessness.  (instead of just waiting on the Lord)
Psalm 27:14 Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD!

One of the tens of times in Psalm alone, God calls us to wait on him.

Was I paying lip service in my prayers, I say no. I say God knows my heart, he knows my struggle, yet he still desires to hear it from me. He still desires me to push past my selfish desires and pray prayers that ask for more faith, patience and reliance on Him. I also know that he expects that multiple times a day I will have to pray again and give over control, if I really desire Him to have it. That it is not just a one and done situation. (unless you are a rockstar, and maybe you are) But again God knows my heart, my desire to be in control and my stubbornness. He made me from scratch.
He knows the plans he has for us, and I can't wait to share with you all when we have an accepted contract on a new home!

O the things that babies teach us.

I tell my little boy, if he does that again I will spank his hand. ( just a little swat) If he hits with the toy, I will take it away. He tests me, my boundaries and what I tell him. The toy goes away, he is lightly swatted on his hand.
 Then a full on remorse on his part sets in. He is wailing, sorry and wanting mommy to hold him, and love him. To make sure I still love him when he does wrong. I don't immediately pick him up, because I don't want to reward behavior he is being punished for. He climbs into my lap, even though I don't reassure him right away. I hold him. I tell him I love him, that he is forgiven, I hug and cuddle him.

 God says to me, this is a picture of a contrite heart. When you are so sorry, when you just want to be near me and show me you did wrong. When you know I will forgive you, when you are torn apart from the idea of being away from me.
"and said, “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven." Matthew 18:3.

"The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise."

Psalm 51:17 

This is your picture from the mouth and heart of babes.

If you love me, you will be broken when you are away from me, if you love me, you will know that I correct you in love. 

con·trite

kənˈtrīt,ˈkäntrīt/

adjective

1. feeling or expressing remorse or penitence; affected by guilt

   
   

   There is no doubt in my mind, I should have punished my child for disobeying. There was no doubt in my mind I should reassure him of my love for him. Yet I often question God's motives and love for me, when I am in distress I run from him instead of climbing into his arms.

   
   

   O HOW HE LOVES US, HOW HE LOVES US, O.

   

Febrile Seizures, Ambulance Rides, IVs and a wedding?

Dear Reader,

I write this to educate, and encourage you. I also write this to spill, and spill big.
Its Friday 4 something a.m., my husband gets up for work takes a shower. And I'm in that zone where you aren't awake or asleep, you just are…. you know, you're a groggy head.
Then a blood curdling scream from my sweet baby boy, I wake all the way up with a JOLT, turn over and pick him up. (yes he sleeps with us, judge if you want)
Then I realize he's seizing, I put him back down on the bed. (which is what you are supposed to do,  hard flat surface, head tilted to one side) He's seizing just like you would picture, foaming at the mouth, head jerking back and forth. Tears streaming down my face, praying and screaming for my husband, who can't hear me over the shower.
Approximately two agonizing minutes go by of me sobbing, of him seizing. He stops for a few seconds, max 45 seconds. I grab him and murmur to him, Mommy is so sorry, she's so sorry. He screams in what I'm praying is NOT agony again, and this time its a different kind of roller coaster. he goes seemingly to sleep. During this seizure (yes this is also a seizure ) my husband comes in, I'm crying and yelling for tylenol. Im telling my husband that yes, they told us the last time he had to come back if it happens again. My husband gets the tylenol, little boy takes the tylenol ( he's little so liquid syringe) but does not respond to our repeated attempts to wake him. I get dressed, I yell at my husband to get dressed. I'm pretty demanding not in psycho mommy mode... so then there's me like this. It's go time.
He wakes up? I'm not sure if there was a reprieve here or not. In any case little man definitely changes states, He is screaming and crying like a banshee. I throw his usual breakfast in my bag, a banana and milk, we're off. Little guy is screaming and jerking the whole way there.

We get in say what happened.
the nurse seems a little out of her element with a little guy. The pediatrician comes in, he thinks he's still seizing because of all the jerking going on.
They need to weigh him so they can get the right dose. We have to change him to get an accurate weight.
The first sign of my buddy is when I put him down on the little weighing table and through the screaming reaches for me.
We hold him down for the first of many times for them to insert his IV.  They give him a sedative to stop the lingering seizure type behavior. My sweet boy calms down for a little while.
We don't know it yet, but we are in for a long day. The pediatrician on the night shift warns us, that they are transferring us because this ER/hospital doesn't have a Ped's unit, and that they will likely keep us overnight and as long as a few days.
Then the waiting starts. Have I mentioned that I have been focusing on patience the last week in my fruit of the spirit study? I could have done better.
We are waiting to hear back from our usual pediatrician, which hospital does he want us to transfer to?
We are still waiting on that…. We can't tempt Drake with any of the toys in my bag until the nurses switch, and his new pretty young nurse comes in. He picks up his little plush football and throws it. My little guy is a show off and a flirt. At least we know his little personality is in there.
The new pediatrician day shift comes on and seems extremely eager to talk about giving him a spinal tap.
Honestly after sobbing all the way to the hospital. (max 5 minutes, but an eternity in mommy land,when your baby won't stop screaming )
I start to freak again. They gave him a sedative and his motor function is inhibited, but that's all I chalked it up to. ( thankfully thats all it was) I ask God that it won't be done unless necessary, and ask for prayers of the same.
A FREAKING SPINAL TAP! Are you serious lady?

We get our transfer order, learn we have to ride in ambulance
(We try to just drive him, but apparently now that he has an IV in, we can't?)
I send my husband home for some clothes for D, and we wait. FOR A LONG TIME. patience.

I want to say that our community rallied in full force, I sent a few texts from the ER and had people just knocking it outta the park with prayers. SERIOUS. and support. IN DROVES.

My poor son hated the ambulance, so close to mommy, but so far. He screamed until he fell asleep, for the last 5 minutes of our ride. Until we got to the Peds ER, where I had to answer questions again. Where they poked and prodded and took more blood. He almost pulled out his IV.
Daddy Romero had shown up by then (he detoured for a while because he was going to beat us by ALOT)
Right after that, the care and counseling pastor from our church shows up. Unfortunately he catches my kid as stark raving mad as he's ever been. I have a giggly giddy content child on the usual. They casted his dominant arm with gauze, so he wouldn't yank the IV out.
He went back and forth between extremely angry, and pitifully showing you his arm, hoping you would take off all the gauze.
Did I mention we had serious support? One of my sister in laws is off on Fridays, stopped by, hung out for a bit, got me coffee.
More waiting.
They ask what words he says, if he is still saying them. I don't even register that they are monitoring for brain damage. I forget for how long he seized and that he could have stroked. PRAYERS OUTTA THE PARK. God protected my heart and mind.
They move us up to the PEDS floor. I ask about seeing the pediatric neurologist -the one the pediatrician at the last hospital was begging, so she could do a spinal tap. "O, they just put in the order, they may come by in an hour maybe 4 hours," the nurse told me offhandedly.
Honestly I was peeved.
God works all things together for those who love him. They wouldn't need to do a spinal tap, we waited so long they got his blood work back. His white blood cell count wasn't high enough that it was bacterial, so no testing for bacterial meningitis. Praise Jesus!

By now I was living in Psalm 23. We have this little prayer book we read D every night, the last page is Psalm 23. The Lord had written it on my heart.

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want

He makes me lie down in green pastures

He leads me besides quiet waters

He restores my soul                             <prayer book version>

I will fear no evil

for you are with me

goodness and love will be with me my whole life

and I will live in the house of Lord forever 

Long story short, after putting us on precautions for strep, (nope) and D having a 103.8 temp after being medicated and monitored constantly. After him pulling out his IV after his last blood panel and bleeding a bit. (scary)

After seeing another pediatrician (we saw 4) and a pediatric neurologist. There is a 50% chance it could happen again before he is 2. They sent us home with a prescription in case of a seizure lasting more than 3 minutes. ( on that day his total seizures were between 5-15 minutes) 

We were overwhelmed with love. SO many offers of food, prayers, helpful advice. Another one the elders where we go to church stopped by, and prayed over us. 

There were beautiful moments, like D throwing that football, reaching for me on the scale… At one point I looked at my husband and said thanks for being here, and he responded," where else would I be?" ( that sums up my husband and how great he is) We pushed the hospital bed and the couch together so D was in between us just like at home. ( I know, I know) 

My husband getting a little emotional  in gratitude each time an elder from the church showed up. ( twice ) 

God has blessed us, So if you prayed, texted, called, offered something, came by THANK YOU! IT DID NOT GO UNNOTICED. GOD WAS AT WORK.

We had peace,  and felt lifted up. 

Here are some facts about febrile seizures:

Febrile seizures are convulsions brought on by a fever in infants or small children. During a febrile seizure, a child often loses consciousness and shakes, moving limbs on both sides of the body. Less commonly, the child becomes rigid or has twitches in only a portion of the body, such as an arm or a leg, or on the right or the left side only. Most febrile seizures last a minute or two, although some can be as brief as a few seconds while others last for more than 15 minutes.

Approximately one in every 25 children will have at least one febrile seizure, and more than one-third of these children will have additional febrile seizures before they outgrow the tendency to have them. Febrile seizures usually occur in children between the ages of 6 months and 5 years and are particularly common in toddlers. Children rarely develop their first febrile seizure before the age of 6 months or after 3 years of age.

The type of febrile seizure also matters; children who have prolonged febrile seizures (particularly lasting more than an hour) or seizures that affect only part of the body, or that recur within 24 hours, are at a somewhat higher risk. Among children who don't have any of these risk factors, only one in 100 develops epilepsy after a febrile seizure.

WHAT TO DO IF YOUR CHILD HAS A FEBRILE SEIZURE

Seizures are frightening, but it is important that parents and caregivers stay calm and carefully observe the child. To prevent accidental injury, the child should be placed on a protected surface such as the floor or ground. The child should not be held or restrained during a convulsion. To prevent choking, the child should be placed on his or her side or stomach. When possible, gently remove any objects from the child's mouth. Never place anything in the child's mouth during a convulsion. Objects placed in the mouth can be broken and obstruct the child's airway. Look at your watch when the seizure starts. If the seizure lasts 10 minutes, the child should be taken immediately to the nearest medical facility. Once the seizure has ended, the child should be taken to his or her doctor to check for the source of the fever. This is especially urgent if the child shows symptoms of stiff neck, extreme lethargy, or abundant vomiting.

O ya wedding

We went home on Saturday, had dinner and went to a wedding. D was fever and contagion free and we were ready to celebrate and up lift a wonderful couple as they were joined together by God.

Here are some pics

I hope you get the feeling I think my guys are handsome, my God is worthy, and that He created us for community.

 And that I love all of those things, but not in that order. 

God made my little guy from scratch 

                                                 and He knows the plans he has for him, 

                                                                          plans to give him a hope and future. 

Ven